2nd Update - Exclusive: The Force Awakens Full Trailer Description!

Not going to Star Wars Celebration? F(r)ett not, young padawans, for we bring you the highlight of the show way ahead of schedule. A description of the first full trailer for The Force Awakens! We've read it like 600 times (hyperbole lolz as we can't read) but it genuinely does get better every time mom describes it for us. Don't take our word for it though, read it for yourself after the jump.

The following was sent to us by Yaddle Tail, one of our most trusted sources, just a short while ago:

It runs close to 3 minutes and puts a lot of things to rest:

It opens like more traditional Star Wars trailers have, a figure watching two suns set on a small hill, while a familiar score plays. This is Rey and it's made 100% clear that she's no one we know's daughter and she wants off Tatooine bad. Max Von Sydow has a conversation with her about the dangers of the galaxy and Rey gets upset and runs out to see a TIE fighter crash. on the horizon.

from director JJ Abrams text

We see Poe and Finn and Rey in a cantina trying to convince Han to fly them off of Tatooine. "I'm retired" "Chewie growl"

Comes the next chapter text

We see Gwendoline Christie's character telling Kylo Ren (looks like he's an unaffiliated mercenary) he'll get his payment when he tracks down Poe and Finn. A cloaked robot is also present.

Of the greatest adventure ever told... text

Explosion of John Williams and the London Symphony

Lots of scenes flash here.

Falcon avoiding TIES and new looking Star Destroyers

Finn and Poe speaking with pink looking Yoda like alien

X-Wing v TIE fighter dogfight with something massive in the back drop in outer space. One of the pilots is definitely Adam Driver.

Kylo Ren shooting down an X Wing from his ship.

Rey igniting a blue lightsaber.

A Chrome storm trooper igniting one back.

A cloaked robot taunting Finn

A Massive castle as a group of people cross a bridge towards it.

Han

Chewie

Leia

Theepio

Artoo.

Kylo Ren on a narrow walk way. He ignites his broadswoard lightsaber and says "FIGHT ME!" and the voice is 100% Andy Serkis. On the opposite end, a green lightsaber ignites.

THE FORCE AWAKENS text.

Updated!!

Here is more from Yaddle Tail.

On Tuesday, April 14th, 2015, you will get a very short teaser announcing a new trailer coming Thursday, April 16th.

So on April 14 we will get a teaser for the trailer that goes like this.

The Teaser features images from the forthcoming trailer displayed in the "Star Wars" logo, a different frame playing in each letter, and then a screen telling you you can see the full trailer on April 16th.

S - Rey

T - Finn

A - Poe BB-8

R - Kylo Ren

W - Han

A - Chewie

R - Leia

S - 3PO and R2

Then on April 16, a full trailer, as described earlier, will be shown at Celebration 7 and released on tbe web shortly afterward. Yaddle Tail went on to describe the trailer in greater detail. 

Kylo Ren is a mysterious mercenary that the Empire hires to track down Poe Dameron. It soon becomes clear he has his own agenda and is much more foreboding than the Empire realized.

Rey will call Max von Sydow's character "grandpa" and that he is a Galactic Civil War veteran that formerly worked for the Empire.

The runtime of the trailer will be around two and a half minutes.

The scene of the TIE fighter crashing is beautiful and takes place at dawn.

The scene described with Kylo Ren being told he'll receive payment when he brings back "The war criminal Poe Dameron" alive also includes him being told that he can do whatever he wants with the "deserter".

This is also your first look at the bridge of the new Star Destroyers.

They also changed Kylo/Serkis's final line "Fight me!" to something "better."   As much as we at FSW like this description we really hope it's fake so it doesn't ruin our credibility of only posting false articles.      Then again, maybe this is an early April Fool's Day joke from us. Expect more updates as this story develops... 

YET ANOTHER UPDATE!!

More from Yaddle whose Tail gets longer and longer:

Darth Plageuis is not involved in any way.

(On whether Luke is only in one scene)

Absolutely not! Come on, we know what the fans want to see! Not to mention Mark was the only cast member who was genuinely excited to be a part of Star Wars again.

(On whether any character's are offspring of OT characters)

Ok, I'll actually give you the straightforward answer on this.

The whole movie, there are a handful of characters you're going to keep expecting it will be revealed they are so and so's kids, and that the force reunited them with their parents, and that's what makes these characters so great.

But it never happens. You don't get that revelation. And guess what? At the end of the movie, you'll realize you just watched a Star Wars film that was not centered around the Skywalker family, just three characters with little in common but the galaxy they inhabit swept up on the biggest adventure of their lives, and you had a blast doing it.

That's the goal, too. To get the fans out of the mindset you just vocalized.

(On whether we see Luke in the full trailer)

Oh, he's there

(On whether Yaddle Tail works for Disney)

Never have I ever said I work at Disney. All I've ever said is that I work closely with the film

Stay tuned...