Unless you've been living under a rock on Jakku, you should be well aware of the fact that Mel Brooks is working on Spaceballs: The Schwartz Awakens. What you can't possibly know, however, unless you're our mom, is that Mel Brooks wants the Faking Star Wars crew to serve as story consultants on the highly anticipated sequel to the greatest Star Wars parody film in the history of Star Wars parody films. After the jump, we lay out Mel's ballsy proposal.
Everyone looks up to someone -- even us fakers. Our faux-thentic heroes include the pioneers of parody, the sultans of satire, the lords of lampooning, the masters of malarkey, the titans of tall tales, Joe Isuzu, Tommy Flanagan, Pinocchio, Stephen Glass, Milli Vanilli, Robert Ripley, Orson Welles, Frank Abagnale, Bill Clinton, Lance Armstrong (Fake Strong), Herotodus, and Aleister Crowley.
At the top of the faking food chain, however, only two there are: the undisputed king of Star Wars song parodies, Weird "Al" Yankovik, and the comic genius behind Spaceballs, Blazing Saddles, Young Frankenstein and countless other classics, the master Mel Brooks.
So you can imagine how excited we were when our momager knocked on the basement door and told us the news: Mel Brooks' people had reached out to our person! They want the Faking Star Wars family to consult on the sequel to Spaceballs.
We can't go into specifics just yet as momager is still weighing our options. But they did send us a work-in-progress draft of the script for Spaceballs: The Schwartz Awakens. We would have had Mom Mothma scan it and post it digitally for everyone, but Mel Brooks wasn't born yesterday. The script was printed on special onion paper using ink that smells an awful lot like pig urine -- ha, that Mel is such a kidder!
Fortunately, momager helped retype some of the key plot points. Here's what we can share about Spaceballs: The Schwartz Awakens:
- The story focuses on Lone Starr and Queen Vespa's children
- Opening shot features the tip of Vespa's original nose (shaved off and presumed lost) floating through space
- Spaceballs: The Animated Series, the 13-episode show that ran on G4 is no longer canon
- We are introduced to the next generation of Spaceballs stars including Peter Delouise (real-life son of deceased Pizza the Hutt performer Dom Delouise) as Meatza the Hutt, the spicy son of Pizza's -- very meta!! Also new to the gang is Melissa Rivers taking on the role that made her mom (also deceased) Joan famous, the droid Dot Matrix. Rounding out the noobs is Kevin James as Barf, the Mawg sidekick made famous by John Candy (R.I.P.)
- Plot centers on the search for Dark Helmet's artifacts... script shows it, as it's the darkest Spaceballs yet, plus we were reading in the dark
- A new sith lord named Darth Cross Guard or Darth Face Mask or Darth Chicken Scratch (script was hard to decipher what with pig urine ink running all over the onion skin ridges) is awakened and deadset on saturating the galaxy with merchandise
- Driuida will be in the film along with the Desert moon of Vega
- Yogurt's force ghost, Gho-gurt, is said to appear later in the film
- President Skroob is long gone, but civil war has broken out...
That's all we were able to have Ma Dukes type out before getting our laundry. What do you think? Should we take the gig or would this cheapen our brand? We're torn. As always, we'll update you as soon as any new developments awaken. And May The Schwartz Be With You!
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