The Sarlacc Monologues: Eve Ensler Writing New Lucasfilm Broadway Production

Inspired by the latest Mad Max film, which has been praised for its feminist ideals courtesy of Eve Ensler, Lucasfilm has announced plans for a theatrical production to debut on Broadway sometime in late 2016. Entitled The Sarlacc Monologues, the production will "explore diet and force-feeding from the perspective of a galaxy far, far, away", said a source close to Lucasfilm.

Plans for the first Star Wars-themed Broadway production are underway, and several key members of the production have described a few scenes. After the jump, check out our exclusive report regarding what is sure to be the next Broadway hit.

"Firstly, this isn't merely some political piece designed to reclaim sexual identity or something in the Star Wars universe," said writer Eve Ensler.  "I've already done that kind of thing.  We wanted it to be action-packed gustatory commentary.  When the Sarlacc eats people in this play, we will all share in feeling liberated from years of dietary control by the Hutt.  Have you ever dreamed of an animatronic sarlaac on a big stage devouring centuries of galactic oppression?"

"Feminist action film?  Been there!  Gustatory galactic oppression next!"  - Eve Ensler

Set and costume decorators have described the Sarlacc costume as "truly something to behold".  Along with the Sarlacc itself, the production will be highlighted by sporadic monologues, delivered by key members of the Star Wars universe. Jennifer Lawrence, tipped to play the Sarlacc, described her role to a FSW entertainment reporter as "a culinary galactic coup d'état. This play is all about the struggle to be set free to eat what you want - whether you are a sarlacc travailing in the pit of Carkoon, or a rancor monster forced to eat alien belly dancers and Gamorrean guards, this play will give voice to those who previously have had none."

Lawrence is the perfect casting choice for the voice of the Sarlacc. 

Plans to tour the production around the country have also been underway. No stranger to controversy, Ensler has said, "Everyone needs to share in the struggle of force-fed monsters everywhere. For centuries, Jabba forced the Sarlaac to devour the vilest scum and villainy in the galaxy, with no freedom to choose a nutritional profile. This play will change all that. What liberation, when we see the sarlaac make empowering decisions for itself, like the scene when it goes shopping for tasty organic free-range selections for the first time at Whole Foods".

Whole Foods:  No longer the hipster shopping zone, but now galactic liberation zone.

In an exclusive interview with Fakingstarwars.net, The Sarlacc itself commented on the news of the new Broadway production.  "Well, frankly speaking, I didn't see this coming. I thought I was doomed to slowly digest bounty hunters over a thousand years. When I got the call, I was thrilled to give my support."

Plans for a musical adaptation based on show favorites are also underway, with such new numbers as "Can't Keep a Hungry Sarlacc Down" and "Can You Feel the Dietary Liberation Tonight?" 

Tickets have already sold out for the first two weeks of the production.