Exclusive: The Knights of Ren Fully Exposed!

Yesterday marked the arrival of some epic news regarding the character of Kylo Ren, courtesy of my cousin Anthony Breznican from Entertainment Weekly. It appears our favorite masked, hooded, emo villain from Star Wars: The Force Awakens is not actually named Kylo Ren... just plain old Kylo with Ren being a reference to his membership in "The Knights of Ren." I AM NOT FAKING THIS UP -- Biker Scout's honor!) One thing Brezzy left out, however, was what in the hell is this order of knights all about. Well, FSW did some digging and, with Mom Mothma's help, we managed to uncover what it all means. So sit down, grab a turkey leg, and bite down hard, because we're about to get Medieval on your Star Wars-loving ass.

Warning: Ye Spoilers ahead!

The Knights of Ren is short for The Knights of Renaissance Faire, a group of highly skilled actors who reenact Knights of the Old Republic battles. The group consists of lightsaber jousters, jesters, magicians, bards, troubadours, wenches and many other period entertainers.

JJ Abrams and Lawrence "Larry Lar" Kasdan were inspired by their love of Medieval Times and the seasonal Renaissance Faires held all around the country. ("Knights of Med" did not flow as well, according to our source.)

As for how Kylo Ren adopts the name...

Han Solo and Princess Leia wanted their children, Kylo and his sister Rey, to have a normal upbringing, far from the political upheaval and Force battles that they experienced. But we cannot run from our fates, no matter how coddled we are. One day, the royal couple were treated to a show by the traveling troupe known as "The Knights of Ren."

6-year old Kylo was taken aback by the display of lightsaber jousting, and millennium falconry (the knights have a falcon mascot named Millennium in a clever nod to Han Solo's ship by JJ and Larry Larr) that he asked his parents if he could one day join the troupe.

Han Solo and Leia forbid it, and we all know how that works out!

Sadly Kylo ran away from home at 7 years old, leaving his sister Rey to a life of luxury. But before he left, he gave her a piece of advice. Kylo told his sister she was meant for greater things... he could feel it in his bones, and that hiding from her fate would destroy her.

So they both ran away, promising to one day meet in the future. Kylo went on to join The Knights of Ren, quickly becoming a marquee player for the show. Meanwhile, Rey hitch-hiked her way across the galaxy to the dust bowl known as Jakku. There she would rough it, and learn to hone her survival skills, and become the warrior her mother and father never let her be.

But back to Kylo and the Knights of Ren. In their Renaissance Faire, Kylo played the role of Darth Revan. The young Solo's portrayal of the Dark Lord was so convincing, the show instantly met with rave reviews. The newly dubbed "Kylo Ren" was a sensation. Unfortunately, the overnight celebrity began to feed his already oversized ego. Before long, Kylo began to believe he had Darth Revan's Force abilities. He overlooked the fact that his cross-guard lightsaber was made by a stagehand. He also forgot about the intricate wire work that enabled his show-stopping Force powers to come to life.

During one fateful performance for The First Order, Kylo caught the eye of a fetching commander named Hux. The two became fast friends, often engaging in multiple pub crawls after the lightsaber jousting, which Kylo always won.

The blue mead flowed and promises were made. It turns out General Hux is also the son of a very famous figure in the galaxy -- none other than Grand Moff Tarkin! Needless to say, Hux found a soul mate/brother husband in Kylo as they both shared similar circumstances and ambitions. (Hux was also secretly in love with Darth Vader, which made him even more enamored of Kylo.)

Together Kylo Ren and Commander Hux plotted a strategy to pit The First Order against the Republic, and destroy whatever was left. In the process, the duo would sell out Supreme Commander Snoke along with the cosplaying acting troupe that made up The Knights of Ren (many of whom are portrayed by The Raid trio). All while tarnishing the Solo and Tarkin names. Everything was going according to plan... until sister decided to show up. But that scoop is for another day.

In closing, the genesis of Star Wars: The Force Awakens boils down to a few simple questions:

• Does nature/nurture really play a role in our destinies?
• Are we doomed to repeat the sins of our fathers, no matter how much we try not to?
• What happens when cosplayers believe they are the characters they're pretending to be?
• Is a double order of turkey legs one too many? 

P.S. Here's an exclusive look inside Rey's survival kit satchel, which she sports on Jakku.