Top 10 Injuries Sustained by Mark Hamill on Skellig Island Today

Recently Mark Hamill came forward to announce he did NOT receive any injuries while filming on Skellig Michael. We here at Faking Star Wars pride ourselves on REAL fake news so we stand beside him detesting all the major news outlets who posted such a travesty of #FalseNews. After the jump we will look at 10 other lesser-known fake injuries the media was reporting.

10. Lost an eye after being inadvertently poked with an umbrella

9. Flattened by an Indiana Jones-sized boulder rolling down the steps of the ancient temple.

8. Pecked to death by rare birds while taking a selfie from within their nest.

7. Stubbed a toe, which became infected, and quickly spread throughout his body such that cast and crew took to calling him Mr. Stubs.

6. One of Nathan Hamill’s designer toys was struck by lightning and came to life, biting Mark Hamill on the neck, which is why he wears a neck brace now.

5. Despite being killed off in The Force Awakens (or because of), Harrison Ford decided to literally drop in on the production, missing the runway but finding Mark’s hut instead.

4. Hamill came down with force ghost fever after a heated late night session of Head’s Up with Yoda, Obi-Wan, and Anakin. The actor’s said to be blue in the face, but recovering.

3. Old Man Skellig woke up from an ages long slumber and hit Hamill with a 600-year old rugby takedown technique known as Ye Olde Kneeknocker.

2. Kenny Baker slipped on a rock, and just before tumbling down 1,000 steps, he grabbed onto Hamill’s fake beard, which in turn tugged at Hamill’s real beard, which in turn pulled on Hamill’s fake lips, which in turn pulled at Hamill’s real lips, and gave Hamill a nasty fat lip, making it difficult to film his planned romantic scenes.

1. F.O.M.O.W.O.S.M. (Fear of Missing Out While On Skellig Michael) syndrome gave Hamill a bad migraine as he continuously refreshed his iPhone over and over for the latest on what injury he’d sustain next, when the first full-length trailer to Star Wars: The Force Awakens would release, and when FakingStarWars.net would post another awesome story.