Thursday, October 1, 2015

110% Accurate TFA Full Trailer Description


My cousin who is a mod on 2chan but has sources on 4chan and 8chan whose wife runs 12chan overheard this vague but plausible description of the full length trailer to Star Wars: The Force Awakens set to release some time soon.

"I've waited a long time for this..."

You will see:

Han

Chewie

Leia

Rey kicking ass

Finn with Lightsaber

Kylo Ren no mask holding Vader's helmet

Hux yelling at Phasma

A BUNCH of red and purple lightsaber wielding phantom looking motherfuckers laying waste to a temple

Artoo

Threepio

Some blue droid

Maz Kanata examining the lightsaber

Poe being beat to shit by Phasma

An aerial battle between xwings and tie fighters over that lake they keep showing

Rey inside a Star Destroyer

BB8 getting kicked

Max Von Sydow AND HE'S GOT A LINE "That's a lightsaber. The weapon of a Jedi Knight."

You WILL NOT SEE

Snoke

Luke

YOU WILL HEAR

Rey

Finn

Poe

Han

Chewie

Kylo

Phasma

Luke

Snoke

Final shot before the title card is Kylo's red blade clashing with Finn's blue in the snowy forest.

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