Not content with causing controversy solely in the Milky
Way, GOP front-runner Donald J. Trump is now taking aim at the Star Wars
universe. Find out why the Republican is boycotting the upcoming installment in
the sci-fi film series. "You're fired, JJ Abrams!"
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| 100% practical effects |
What’s got Trump’s hair on end? The FRENCH! Just
kidding… sorta. Here’s some background: A French toy site recently leaked the names of several Lego
playsets based on
Star Wars: The Force Awakens. Within the bulleted list of
expected fare, there was a mention of a set based on the “Battle on Takodana.”
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| Artist rendering of the taco planet |
"Takodana" seems to be the name of a never-before-seen planet from the upcoming
Star Wars sequel. Speculation is rampant it may be the snow planet where Kylo Ren likes to go for long walks in the woods. Yep, the very same planetoid where the First Order's quaint chalet "Starkiller" is located!
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| "Over the river and through the woods..." |
As winter wonderland-y as that sounds, not everyone is excited by the sound of "Takodana" being a major player in an American film of such magnitude.
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| "JJ, you're fired!" |
Donald J. Trump has withdrawn all support for all things Star Wars, including and not limited to the upcoming films, the spinoff films, the potential new rides at Disney theme parks -- even George Lucas' new museum in Chicago. All because of "Takodana."
Listen we have enough border issues on Earth. So do we really need a planet of taco eaters and potential rapists on the loose throughout the Star Wars galaxy? YO NO QUIERO TACO BELL OR TACO DANAS!
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| Anti-Taco Diners poster by Donald J. Trump for President |
When pressed about his comments, Trump backpedaled and claimed that not all "Taco Damerons" were necessarily rapists per se, but they do all have a higher propensity for "getting loco" as the GOP front-runner put it.
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| Not necessarily rapist Poe, alongside not necessarily rape X-Wing van |
Trump also believes "hyper-liberal" director JJ Abrams is intentionally hiding this "border land of a planet" and confusing fans by using three different names for the same planet: Tatooine, Jakku, or Takodana.
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| El Chapo in selfie mode |
Star Wars fans are not amused by Trump and his twitter antics. In fact, one superfan counts this as strike two against "the Don." Mexican drug lord El Chapo, already annoyed with Trump for
blasting Mexico and the U.S. for allowing El Chapo to escape, has moved the Trump one slot up on his MOST WANTED list. As we understand it, the drug lord has taken the attack on Star Wars very personally.
Stay tuned to FSW for the latest on this story, as well as other incredible feats of human stupidity in pursuit of Star Wars scoops.
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